It is "tip of the week time" again. Sorry, it is a day late, but we had a restful bank holiday today.
Anyway, have you heard this lovely quote?
“A gentle word, a kind look, a good-natured smile can work wonders and accomplish miracles.”– William Hazlitt
It is so true; you can accomplish so much with a smile.
As a form tutor who wanted to improve the students' enjoyment of school, I would challenge my students to smile at as many teachers as possible during the day and see how many smiled back at them. They loved our little secret challenge; we used to talk in tutor time about the different teachers and the impact smiling had on them. Obviously, some teachers thought a couple of the students were acting strange, but it was a worthwhile exercise for the most part. Some even discussed the impact the newly found mindset had on their lessons, which was great.
This brings me to my tip for this week.
“Smile; it makes you and those around you feel better.”
It also makes you more approachable, boosts your mood, relieves stress, and makes you seem more attractive, sociable, and confident.
Just try it for a day, smile whenever someone passes by, comes to see you, or you go to see them. You will very likely receive a positive response. If not, at least you will feel great.
Enjoy the rest of your week and, of course, follow your dreams.
I hope you are having a fabulous week.
In these trying times (for all manner of reasons), we truly must keep going and believe we will come out of them stronger and more learned than before. As a coaching tip, I thought I would share a quote from one of my peers Darren Poke, who writes a fantastic blog.
As coaches, our role is to believe in you and your creativity and resourcefulness to achieve. So essentially, focusing on improving your performance by growing your potential and by decreasing interference. Self-belief is paramount to removing interferences.
Enjoy, and I’ll speak to you soon.
Remember to follow your dreams.
You have to believe
You have to believe that your goals can be achieved.
You have to believe in your capacity to make your world and the world a better place.
You have to believe in the people around you.
You have to believe that you can make it through these challenging times.
You have to believe that you deserve blessings.
You have to believe in the voices cheering you on, more than the critics telling you to stop.
You have to believe that you haven’t peaked yet.
You have to believe in the power of persistence.
You have to believe that love is more powerful than hate.
You have to believe that when you work with passion and purpose, remarkable things are possible.
Because the moment you stop believing, is the moment you stop progressing.
This week I had a session with another coach; I use these sessions to sharpen my skills as a coach. One incite I garnered from this conversation was the following phrase.
“If you want to change, you have to feel the pain.
So, following on from the "Tip of the Week" on Monday (The three reasons people don't achieve their goals), I thought I would do a 4-part email to help you with any changes you want to make. This is a great opportunity to be ready for implementing change ready for the new year. We will work on this together using the GROW model. This is the most widely used model in coaching, and the questions are taken from my coaching questions template, used with some of my clients.
This first email will outline the questions regarding what you want to change, the G of GROW, which stands for your goal. (or, in this case, the changes you wish to make.
Before we start, I would like to remind you of the following:
We would all like to make changes but can never find the time or energy to do it. Then there is also the tremendous pace of change, and currently, the circumstance in the world around us, which we know is unlikely to slow down anytime soon. Coping with change at work, at home, or in life, in general, can be a huge challenge. This self-coaching journey can help you get started with change. So let’s go.
A Self-reflection Exercise
First, identify something you would like to achieve at work, at home, or in life in general.
Please write down your answers to the following questions, interpreting them in a way that seems appropriate to you. Stick it on the fridge or in your note pad ready for part 2
1. What would you like to work on?
2. What would you like to have after answering this set of questions (e.g., a first step/strategy/solution)?
3. What is your goal related to this issue?
4. When are you going to achieve it?
5. What are the benefits for you in achieving this goal?
If you need any of these questions explained further, feel drop me an email
The exercise questions help raise your awareness, which encourages you to take responsibility for achieving your goal. The fact that you come up with your own solutions will also raise your confidence to achieve your goal.
Take your time; you have a week, return to them periodically, and make changes as necessary. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. You do not have to share the answers with me, but I am happy to take a look if you wish.
Best of luck with your change journey, and if there is anyone whom you know who could benefit from this exercise, let me know or forward it to them. I would be happy to add them to my mailing list. Sharing is caring.
Here I am with this week’s tip of the week or, more to the point, tip for the week.
We have all heard the quote:
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou
But my question is, “how do you practice emotional intelligence (EQ), making people feel great on a day to day basis?
Here is my tip of the week for you to have a go at:
Find opportunities to give someone a lollypop moment each day this week.
By this, I mean, go up to someone unsuspecting and tell them they have mattered, do matter, or will matter to you or the business.
We have all had someone in our lives that made a positive impact, haven’t we?
If you want to understand this further, try this exercise I did during coach training that helped me understand EQ.
Recall someone you loved being with when you were younger, a grandparent, a boss, a teacher, any role model. When you were with this person, what did they do that you liked so much? How did you feel around them? Think about the person's attitudes and behaviors.
I can almost guarantee this person listened to you, believed in you, challenged you, trusted, and respected you. Gave you time and full attention and treated you as an equal. More importantly, you very likely felt special, valued, confident, safe, and cared for, supported, and around them, you believed in yourself. They probably also made things fun to do.
Now I understand that not everyone’s daily activities can be fun; however, we can all make someone feel better about things happening at the moment.
Give someone a lollypop moment, go see them, send a text, email, or a “stick it” note, and tell them how much you appreciate them, for their efforts, something they have achieved, or the fact that you are just happy they are part of your team. Now that is a lollypop moment for them, and they will never forget how you made them feel.
To learn more about Lollypop moments for leaders, check out the great 4 minute TED talk on the home page. (Available for one week from 22/11) there after find it here. Recognizing the Power of Lollypop Moments | Drew Dudley - YouTube
Have a great week.
I hope you are having a great week.
Firstly, you may recall my email dated 8th September, where I spoke about the coaching equation Performance = Potential – Interferences? I received so much positive feedback, I thought I would return to it.
What is a "goal"? A quick internet search reveals the following definition: The object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.
So why do so many people fail to achieve theirs?
I read somewhere that “The single greatest reason people fail to achieve a goal is that they set the goal for something they didn’t truly love.”
Think of some of the things you have achieved. It may have been financially (saving for a holiday), educationally (achieving your qualifications), or professionally getting your first job; because you really wanted to achieve that goal, you made it happen regardless of any interferences.
Three things really seem to get in our way of reaching our ambition. However, if you can identify these and accept that they are simply part of the process, then you can treat them for what they are--just things to handle--rather than letting them stop you.
1. Concerns: Things that come to mind as soon as you decide on a goal. Things like,
· The job market is so difficult at the moment
· I do not have enough time to go for it
2. Fears: As soon as you decide on a goal, you suddenly experience feelings of fear, and you will come up with loads of false evidence that will seem real to you.
· What if I am not good enough?
· What if it’s too much work?
3. Roadblocks: These things may be out of your control, which could hinder your progress once you get over concerns and fears. Things like,
· There is a restructure, and the role is changed
· Other people stand between you and your goal
We all know there are many more; however, your “goal” will be so much nearer once you can address these interferences.
If you think you may need help in any aspect of achieving your goals, reach out. Coaching is about maximizing potential and getting the client from where they are to where you want to be. Visit my website at www.edgebarbados.com or drop me an email to start a conversation.
Enjoy the rest of your week and follow your dreams.
Richie Forde, Performance Coach and the Founder of Edge Coaching Services.