I hope you managed to get some well-deserved rest this weekend. In Britain this weekend, they had the opportunity to show their appreciation for their wonderful and courageous mothers.
This weeks' "Tip of the week" has a link to mothers well, Fathers too.
Picture the feeling your mum had when she found out she was pregnant (or maybe you had) followed by the realization of bringing a child into the world. Uncertainty no doubt was playing a part there, but you both got on with it and I'm sure, did (and still doing) a great job.
Life has a habit of throwing in a few uncertainties now and then, Covid, new boss, redundancy, etc, and I'm certain you have had your fair share. How did you cope, how are you coping? As a coach, I like to share this quote with my clients to get them started with the coping journey.
“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn’t uncertainty. It’s openness, curiosity, and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose upsides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” – Tony Schwartz
As a coach I love this, I often say to my clients that the only way to ever get ahead of uncertainty is to breathe deeply, feel everything you're feeling – and then step into your form of leadership - even if you may be scared and don't feel ready. Actually – especially if you don't feel ready.
I don’t pretend I have all the answers and I’ve been scared many times in my life. But I've learned two important things about fear and uncertainty:
1. Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is doing what you need to do, even though you feel scared. And you know you can do scared.
2. The solution to uncertainty isn't actually certainty, it's creativity.
This weeks' Tip,
"Be creative when faced with uncertainty"
Have the courage to Engage in something outside your comfort zone, and watch yourself Develop, Grow and Evolve
You will very likely find uncertainty is an exciting challenge to embrace.
Have a great week and as always, let me know your thoughts.
I hope you had a great weekend
Here I am with this week’s tip of the week or more to the point; tip for the week.
We have all heard the quote:
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou
My question is “how do you practice emotional intelligence (EQ), making people feel great on a day-to-day basis?
The answer is in my "tip of the week", so try to have a go at it this week:
Find opportunities to give someone (maybe a different someone) a lollypop moment every day.
By this I mean, go up to someone who is unsuspecting and tell them they have mattered, do matter, or will matter to you as a friend or to the business.
We have all had someone in our lives that made a positive impact, haven’t we?
If you want to understand this further, try this exercise I did during coach training that helped me with understanding EQ.
Recall someone you loved being with when you were younger, a grandparent, a boss, a teacher any kind of role model. When you were with this person, what did they do that you liked so much? How did you feel around them? Think about the person's attitudes and behaviors.
I can almost guarantee this person listened to you, believed in you, challenged you, trusted, and respected you. Gave you time and full attention and treated you as an equal. More importantly, you very likely felt special, valued, confident, safe, cared for, supported, and around them you believed in yourself. They probably also made things fun to do.
Now I understand that not everyone’s daily activities can be fun, however, we can all make someone feel better about things happening at the moment.
Give someone a lollypop moment, go see them, send a text, email, or a “stick it” note, and tell them how much you appreciate them, for their efforts, something they have achieved, or the fact that you are just happy they are part of your team. Now that is a lollypop moment for them, and they will never forget how you made them feel.
To learn more about Lollypop moments check out this great 6 minute TED talk Lollipop moment
They are great things to do, not just as a leader, but as a good human being who wants to make people feel valued.
Have a great week
This week my tip of the week is to support something that deep down we all at some point suffer from, “a lack of confidence”.
Even the best of us, the most knowledgeable of us, and even the most skillful of us can lose confidence when faced with a new challenge.
When I work with clients, this is a word that is often a stumbling block that will need to be shifted.
Before I state this week’s tip, remember this.
"It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn — which is what life is all about."
— Oprah Winfrey,
The basis of my roadmap for helping my clients enhance their confidence is through targeted questions, but the general premise is as follows:
Confidence is linked to being able to quickly assess, learn from and move past failures, to leaning into mastery rather than perfectionism, and to fostering a positive self-perception of our capabilities even when challenged.
I ask them to create inspired actions, which keep in mind that confidence is strongly linked to doing. The best doing is being in action - then learning from the outcomes.
My tip for this week is “Whatever you put your attention on grows”,
This week, consider what you can focus your thinking on to boost your confidence. As a coach I might be looking at the following areas:
Practice, practice, practice, small steps will likely lead to bigger things, and it is these actions that build confidence.
If you would like to have a chat about how to best grow your confidence, drop me an email, I'd be happy to help.
Richie Forde, Performance Coach and the Founder of Edge Coaching Services.