​This week I wanted to devote some time to leaders, I understand you may not all be a leader at work, but there will be elements of leadership in your world. Maybe you are a parent or part of a group or club and have responsibilities within. If not maybe it'll give you inspiration or maybe just some behaviors to watch out for over the next week.

In this weeks tip, I will offer 10 statements leaders can use with their team members to get the best results for the betterment of the employees and the business. In fact, I would suggest if leaders were to merely think some of these, before engaging with employees, they might affect the personal change that would facilitate a better outcome for their relationships.

Many leaders (or parents) will recognize that much of their time is spent firefighting or struggling to get the job done in the allotted time, with a team that is content to go the extra mile when needed sometimes. They likely find they are unable to devote the time they need to long-term planning, taking stock of the big picture, surveying alternative methods, or even really understanding the needs of the employees (children) to fully understand what it takes to have a fully functioning team.


One of the areas that are critical to creating a fully functioning team is how you are perceived as the leader, the way you lead, and the way you model the required values, ethics, attitudes, and behaviors. It is fair to add that as a parent I can also see how these statements can also be used at home

With this I love this quote from John Quincy Adams, he was the politician who once said "try and fail, but don't fail to try" however for the purposed of today's tip I prefer his quote:

" If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader."

With that in mind, let us see if this week, you can inspire others with any of these statements that can be integrated into your week this week.

This week's EDGE Coaching tip of the week is "Be the change you wish to see"

The statements for you to use or think about.

1. I am ready to sit next to you rather than across from you
2. I am willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us(or sliding it towards you)
3. I am ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue
4. I want to acknowledge what you do well, instead of picking apart your mistakes
5. I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges
6. I can hold you accountable without shaming or blaming you
7. I am willing to own my part
8. I can genuinely thank you for your efforts, rather than criticizing you for your failings
9. I can talk about how resolving these challenges will lead to your growth and opportunity
10. I can model the vulnerability and openness that I expect to see from you

I hope you find space in your week to reflect on these statements and as always let me know your thoughts or even if there are others I should add. Leave you comments below

This week I would like to share a set of questions that may open a new avenue of thinking about your day and how asking yourself certain questions may improve your outlook at home or work. This exercise is part of a questioning model I use to help my clients get the best out of their teams, but it works at home too.
So with this in mind, my quote for this week is as follows
Part of being successful is about asking questions and listening to the answer - Anne Burell
Let me ask you a question, thinking back to last week, what kind of impact did you have on the people around you? As a leader, teacher, parent, or employee, what did you do that positively impacted someone's day? 
When you have had a little think, then ask yourself, What impact did I have on myself, what did I learn about myself last week?
Would it be fair to say that even though you may have had a productive week, it wasn't filled with thoughts of the impact you had on yourself or others? Even though some of you manage employees, teach students, look after your children, and interact with people every single day. That then begs the question, well how come it wasn't?
 How different do you think your day would be if you thought about the impact you have on those around you? How much more would you learn about yourself and those you work with?
How much more do you think you may achieve if you reviewed your day as you traveled home? 
This week I would like to give you the opportunity to consider the impact you have on yourselves or others, I think you will be surprised at the results and what you might learn.
My EDGE Coaching tip of the week. "Review your performance"
Here are the questions to ask yourself at the end of each day

• How did I make a difference for someone today?
• What went well today?
• What did I learn?
• How did it change my thinking?
• What can I improve upon tomorrow?
• what kind of impact did I have? 

If you can positively react to the answers, you will find you create awareness and responsibility, Inspire creativity and resourcefulness and increase possibilities in yourself and others.
Try it, and let me know how it goes, if you have any questions, feel free to reach out.
Have an inspirational week 

Thank you for the feedback from last week's email "Know and use your strengths, it is great to know people are working diligently on their strengths to further their careers and their personal goals. I thank you all for your kind words and just reply by saying - this is what I am here for. I especially like the comment, "work to your strengths and outsource your weaknesses". This is such a good way to recognize no one can be brilliant at everything.

So to follow on on this theme, this week I have 7 questions to assist in moving you out of your comfort zone. 

So are you? In a comfortable place that is? I don't mean your seat, but with your current state of play at work, in your career, or maybe in your relationship? In most aspects of life, being in your comfort zone is a great place to be, however, some might say "A ship is safe in a harbor, but that's not what ships are planned for." What were you planning to be, once upon a time?

This week, I would like to get you to consider if you are too comfortable, and what to do if you would like to move forward to maximize your potential and get back on track. Today I have the first part of an exercise I use with my clients, to help the begin the process of getting out of their comfort zone. To see the full exercise see the file below

A well-known quote by Gina Milicia reads,

 “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” 

As a coach working with many clients, I can attest that this is true. If you think logically - a new career, a promotion, dealing with unruly students, or even just becoming something more - only present themselves when you leave your comfort zone and stretch yourself. 

So this week, rank your comfort level from 1 to 10, where 1 = I’m not at all comfortable, 5 = I feel perfectly balanced between taking risks and feeling comfortable, to 10 = I’m so comfortable I feel bored and unmotivated.

Then ask yourself these 7 questions

1. When was the last time you tried something and what did you do? 
2. When was the last time you took a risk, what did you do and how did it turn out? 
3. Do you think you are currently learning, growing, and expanding? Why or why not? 
4. Do you think you are doing too much – busy to the point of being stressed out, what could you do differently?
5. Do you think you are doing too little – feeling bored with your life, what could you do differently? 
6. Is it time for a change? Why or why not? Explain. 
7. What is one action you can take right now?

These questions, if answered openly and honestly should have you thinking, and probably will give you insights you hadn't considered for a while. 

There are other parts to this exercise that can look even deeper into what you can do to help you out of your comfort zone, drop me an email if you believe it is time for a change.

This week my EDGE Coaching "tip of the week" is 

"Step outside your comfort zone" 

If you can do this once, each day this week, I promise you will likely learn something new about yourself, (or at the very least begin to remember why you do what you do).

Remember  as much as you have a comfort zone, you also have a courage zone.

Thank you for the fantastic response to last week's Tip (rebuilding your career confidence), it was lovely to see people sharing their thoughts and supporting others they know. A common theme mentioned was knowing what to focus on to improve one's prospects. This is a great point, so this week I'll cover this area very briefly if at all possible.

This week I will leave you with an opportunity to improve you or your business through the week by answering 5 simple questions to create 10 personal or business strengths. This is because we should all know that the area for greatest improvement lies with our strengths (and not our weaknesses)

This week's quote is so true as stated by American businesswoman Sophia Amoruso, she said'

"True success lies in knowing your weaknesses and playing to your strengths"

So this week, I would like to offer you parts one and two of a four-part exercise I give clients who are focusing on improving their prospects or that of their business or school. 

Part one is to consider your top 10 strengths, as you go about your day just be aware of this by asking yourself the following questions;-

1. What is the core of my success so far? What makes me (or your business) successful?
2. What are my strengths or unique qualities?
3. What am I particularly good at? 
4. When do I (or your business) shine brightest?
5. When I am challenged, what do I turn to, to overcome it?

The beauty of this exercise is that you will find yourself reminded of where your talents lie, so you can purposely utilize and demonstrate them more often.

I mentioned this was a four-part strategy, in part two I would be asking more detailed coaching questioning of you to support you in discovering your top 10 strengths and talents. If you are interested in seeing these questions, you can find the file on my website home page or click here Questions to identify strengths

Followed by using a coaching wheel tool to take a deep dive into your top 8 strengths, where you score how the individual strengths are currently used then look at how those scores can be improved. 

The final stage would be creating an action plan to help you commit to moving forwards by utilizing your strengths and talents on a more regular basis so you can boost your prospects.

If this is of real interest to you, feel free to make contact, but for now, my EDGE Coaching "Tip of the week" is 
"Know and use your strengths"
Be reminded of how special you are, and let me know how it goes.

.Lately, I have had a number of wonderful conversations about careers and the effect the pandemic has had on people's thinking. So today I thought I would share a brief thought and leave you with an exercise to rebuild your confidence in your career, if you or someone you know, may need it.  I am fully aware that you are most likely happy in your current position, but I am also of the opinion that you may know someone who may need a little support.

My quote for this week comes from Oprah Winfrey and it is so true.
"create the highest, grandest vision for your life, because you become what you believe"

So here goes.

It is true that most people are happy at work they have a good grasp of the path they are takings and how to get there. They feel great about their contribution and jump out of bed on a Monday Morning rearing to go. I know this as this was me as a teacher before making the difficult decision to give it up and focus my attention on coaching people instead.

However, it would be irresponsible to believe everyone is of the same mind.  Some are so unhappy at work that they dread Monday mornings, Even after the restful weekend they feel burnt out, anxious, or even a little depressed because of their job or job prospects?  

Not wanting to focus too much on the negatives, there is also a group of people who are both happy and unhappy, If this is you, perhaps you feel you’re in a position to step up to the next level but are being held back by something or someone (maybe even yourself). Then even though you love your job, because of the pandemic, your confidence in yourself and in your professional skills might have suffered. 

Many people experience these situations at some point in their careers, but not everyone experiences low career confidence. Over time, having work-related low confidence and self-esteem can lead to a variety of physical and mental health issues. You might doubt yourself and over-analyze your decisions – not just work-related ones. This lack of confidence can also slow your career progression and affect your financial stability.

There are a number of things that may create low career confidence? Here are a few that may resonate with you:

• feeling inadequate or like a “fraud”
• comparing yourself to others
• being under-skilled for the role
• focusing on mistakes over successes
• experiencing work-related stress caused by a micromanaging boss, uncooperative co-workers, organizational changes, or new responsibilities
• having a fear of failure 

Regardless of the reasons, low career confidence can be effectively addressed. Here are six suggestions to begin re-building your career confidence.

1. Realize there is no such thing as perfect. Aiming for perfection will always lead to disappointment because it’s unobtainable – and you fail to acknowledge your achievements. Give yourself a break when you fail, make a mistake, or miss the mark. Failure is a valuable part of life because it offers you the opportunity to reflect on all the lessons you learned from your mistakes.
2. Identify your feelings. Think about when your low confidence started. Was it after an event, such as a lay-off? Do you struggle in certain situations? For example, if you’re burnt out and work in a highly stressful environment, it might be time for you to find another career – one where you are engaged, passionate, and confident.
3. Write down your career achievements. Research indicates that writing down accomplishments releases feel-good chemicals in the brain, increasing feelings of pride and motivation. Start by writing a list of your past career achievements – big or small. Use a journal or notebook and begin a daily practice of recording your work-related achievements.
4. Identify your strengths, skills, and talents – and capitalize on them. One of the best ways to increase your confidence is to get clear on your strengths and find ways to integrate them into what you do each day. You’ll be more engaged, energized, and self-assured. Write down the things you do well and reflect on how you can use your strengths to do your job.
5. Reach out. Connect with personal and professional networks for help and support. Get feedback from colleagues. Seek advice or secure a mentor or coach to help you work through your feelings and create a plan.
6. Identify weaknesses, and work on them. If you have weaknesses that are affecting your confidence, work to reduce or eliminate them.

This exercise will help you fill the gap between where you are now, and where you want to be. Be honest be confident and be proud, and remember
 "Self-confidence is a super power, once you start to believe in yourself, the magic starts happening"

As a coach, I am here to champion you. I see you as naturally creative, resourceful, and whole, so this week's "Tip of the week" is 

"Rebuild your career confidence"  

This week, be aware of what you bring and make notes of what you have achieved, and the skills, strengths, and talents you bring to the role. Just two things each day will show you your importance to the business. Drag out your resume and start to add new insights. Always be ready, just in case an opportunity does present itself.
At the end of this week you, or if you have shared with someone you know, will be more confident in your (their) self-worth.
If you would like more support in this area, reach out, or use the diary link below. As always I am here if you wish to invest in yourself.
​For more support use this exercise to highlight your challenges career_coaching.pdf
Have a wonderful week

This week I would like to share some thoughts on "being your own best friend" as an extension of last week's "Tip" I will also leave you with an additional exercise to try through the week.
It was so lovely to receive the responses to last week's Tip, it seemed to resonate with a good few of you. I love hearing from you and getting your feedback. 

Talking of feedback, I had a comment about the best way to remember the importance of being kind to yourself, especially in these difficult times for everybody.  I had put in the following point last week

Be your own best friend; treat yourself like your most treasured friend whom you respect and trust. Remember never to talk down to yourself, always talk yourself up. Again speak to yourself as you would your very best friend.


To that lovely person, I share this quote and I would recommend everyone to copy and paste it on your fridge so you see it every day;

"You will never speak to anyone as much as you speak to yourself in your head, be kind to yourself"
 
Remember that your world will not get any better by focusing solely on your faults, so why do it.
Being kind to yourself definitely has an impact on your mood and that of those around you. 

So this week I would like you to try this exercise for 24 hours and see where it takes you.

The exercise;
For one day (24Hrs), decide not to moan, whinge or say anything negative to yourself. If you catch yourself doing any of these, then start again from the beginning. Once you get accustomed to this, then start to find a positive in the situation. 

This may not seem difficult, but believe me, if you are not used to it, it can be quite a challenge. When you can achieve one day, it'll be easier to do two and three until it becomes a habit, it will certainly make you a better friend to yourself

Tip of the week "Be your own best friend"

This week I wanted to write about, and give you a few ways to develop your Self-Reliance, after all :  
"Self -Reliance is the only true road to freedom and being one's own person is its own reward"- Patricia Sampson
What is strange is that as a coach, I spend most of my time with clients helping them to be just this, so they don't need me. Am I doing myself out of a job? No not at all, my job is to help you develop your self-reliance and people need support with this skill.

Here is my initial master plan

1. Be your own best friend; treat yourself like your most treasured friend whom you respect and trust. Remember never to talk down to yourself, always talk yourself up. Again speak to yourself as you would your very best friend.
2. Talk less; "those who know don't speak, those who speak don't know" The Tao. Self-reliant people are powerful, and powerful people talk less. They carefully think about bout what they want to say and articulate it concisely and clearly.
3. Keep your life private; Keep your own counsel and be very selective in the things you share with others. Don't open yourself or your world up to undermining comments, criticism and judgment.
4. Curb your neediness; This is not don't talk over things with friends this is more about not taking every small issue to someone else to be resolved. Instead, talk to yourself, be composed, and take responsibility for resolving your own inner turmoil.
5. Approve yourself; Stop talking to yourself or others about your little imperfections, these conversations weaken you and create a powerless person whose need for outside validation undermines any chance of a respectful relationship with yourself. always remember, you are far stronger than you think you are.

The Tip for this week  for this week is; Try to develop your Self-Reliance
Exercise
Take a pen and paper and answer these questions;

1. On a scale of 1-10, how much do I show faith in myself? 
2. When was the last time I made a major decision using my own judgement?
3. On a scale of 1-10, How much do I need other peoples approval?
4. On a scale of 1-10, how much do I like, respect and approve of myself?
5. When was the last time I took a risk that demonstrated faith and trust in myself, regardless what others thought?
6. What would my life look like if I backed myself 100 percent, trusted myself and didn't look for respect and trust from others?

Now for the next month practice the above masterplan and then start the question process again.
I know this can be a daunting prospect, so, if you need help to get started/going, please feel free to reach out. It won't cost you a thing, and I'd be happy to help.

We all know that the word NO has very negative connotations,  so this week I would like to share 10 alternatives to just saying NO. 
Last week, one of my clients was asking about how to make a more positive impact on students who were struggling in class. As most coaches would, I asked what my client wanted to achieve, what they were doing now, and what was the gap they needed to fill? It turned out that the students were getting disheartened when they got an answer incorrect, also the client didn't believe she was helping the situation. Now, I know my client is an excellent teacher, I have actually attended an online class as part of our sessions, but we quickly realized that it came down to one word, and that word was NO. 
Sometimes my client would (in the interests of time) just say no to a student if they got an answer incorrect. This is actually true of some leaders at work when an idea is proposed in a meeting, or a suggestion is offered on the workshop floor. as with students, employees can get disheartened if they feel they are not part of the building process.
I, for one, know this little quote to be true: 
A person (student or employee) who feels appreciated will always exceed their teacher or manager's expectation.
So today I have put together a couple of alternatives to the word NO, I know there are hundreds of others, but these especially will work for both students and employees. If you have any more, let me know by leaving a comment below. I would love to hear them and if I get enough, I will also share them as a poster or something similar.
Tip of the week: Try not to simply say NO.
Try these instead,
Let's look at this together?
Can you give me another suggestion?
Do you have another idea?
That's interesting, what made you think of that?
How can we make this work?
We may need to adjust your idea a bit
May I think about that?
How would you answer that question?
That's a good idea, however, can you think of any problems that may arise?
I like your thinking, let's set up a time to discuss this further?
By the way, my client started utilizing more open-ended questions and then used more statements like; good try, a nice thought, have another go and my favorite, lots of people think the answer is that, just like you do. It made a massive impact on them. As a teacher I always believed that the goal is to build trust with students so they knew, I wasn't trying to embarrass them.
Let me know your thoughts, but most importantly, have a great week out there.

I hope you enjoyed a restful weekend
This week I would like to share with you a tool I was given to support my clients between coaching sessions. This tool is all about using humor to build resilience. 
This week I have included the tool and attached the full document for you to share with your friends and colleagues to help them too.
But first as always, my weekly quote.
"A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing." –Laura Ingalls Wilder.
Did you know that Humor is a powerful way to bring more laughter, lightness, and joy into your life? Researchers have found that humor is an important way to create connections with others. You are 30 times more likely to laugh with other people than when you are alone.
Laughter has positive effects on your body by acting as a signal that you are relaxed and safe. When you laugh, your brain “decides” that everything is good and there is no need to be in survival mode.
This worksheet will help you reflect on funny things that happen throughout your day to add playfulness and laughter to your daily routine. Doing this activity daily for just one week has been shown to increase resilience and reduce depression.
So, my EDGE tip of the week is “Add a little more laughter to your day”
What to do
For this or every week, take 10 minutes each day to complete the following activity. You will need a notebook or journal and pen, or you may use the “notes” function on your smartphone.
Here goes,
1. At the end of each day, write down or type three funny things you experienced, witnessed, or heard, and describe how they made you feel. If you have a hard time remembering anything funny, search for “funny videos” on the Internet or watch a light comedy.
2. Next, write down why you found each thing funny. Also, note who you were with, were you with friends, co-workers, or family? Were you alone? Be as detailed as possible.
3. Use the attached chart to track your progress. Include the date, check off if you completed the activity, and note how you felt before and after writing about three funny things.
I have no doubt you will find this of value in your daily life, all I ask is that share it and let me know how it goes for you.
15._adding_humor_exercise.pdf
​15a_._adding_humor_exercise_full_doc.pdf

This week I would like to offer you some thoughts that may give you an EDGE. Just like success, getting an EDGE will mean different things to different people. For some it may be finding the one thing that makes their day more productive, for others, it may be a supporting tool to help them move out of their comfort zone in their life, be it at work or at home, in business, or in love. For others, it really could be as simple as something to help them enjoy each day, a little more.
 
As you know, this is the name of my Coaching business  (EDGE) and it is the model I use to help when partnering with clients. You may have noticed I use the following poem at the foot of all my e-mails as I believe it will resonate with many people wanting a little more, but may feel wary of stepping outside their comfort zone. It goes like this
 
“Come to the EDGE, “we can’t, we are afraid, “come to the EDGE”, “we can’t, we might fall”
“come to the EDGE”, and they came... and he pushed them, and they flew. Guillaume Apollinaire                                             
. 
I think there are many people in this world,  who would just love to take a step forward and see what they can really achieve. Some are being held back by inner doubts, fearing their real power and what may happen if it is unleashed and then, of course, there are those who are telling themselves they are content in their comfort zone, but looking out wondering what life is like on the other side. To these people I always say, you will never know unless you dip your foot over the EDGE.
 
So how do you go about doing this, stepping over the EDGE? Well, it starts with my 4-step plan which you can easily follow, and even if you only achieve step one, I guarantee you that you will be nearer to your intention than you are right now.
 
My Tip of the Week this week is "Create an EDGE for yourself"
 
Steps and what they may look like.
 
ENGAGE;  you don't have t go it alone

• Talk about your dream and or intentions to close trusted friends and family, better still, write it down and stick it on the fridge.
• Research what it might take to get there
• Find someone who is already where you want to be and ask how they did it.
• Look at your network for people who could help you with your intention and start asking questions
• think of your life having achieved this THING? how different is it?

DEVELOP; What are you doing now that will help you

• Which of your strengths will help you move closer to your intentions?
• What actions have you taken so far?
• What has stopped you from doing more?
• What are you doing now that is in the way if you doing that THING

GROW; What do I need to do to grow in this area

• What could I do, what options/choices do I have to take me closer to my intention?
• What ideas do you have?
• What are the different ways you could approach this issue?
• Whom do you know that would be good at this, what would they do?

EVOLVE;  Define your actions to get started

• What will you do, what is the first step?
• How will you do it, and by when?
• Is there anything you need to put in place beforehand?
• Who will you talk to, that will encourage, champion your efforts and maybe even hold you accountable?

I am sure you are already filling a tingle of excitement, I do every time I share this as I know and have seen where this can lead.
 Now, go and create your EDGE