I hope you had the chance this weekend to rest and recharge. I had a lot of feedback from last week’s tip about being more assertive, the word courage kept coming up in peoples’ thoughts. So, this week I would like to address this emotion.
5 years ago, my soccer team Leicester city won the billionaires playground they came the premiership league in England, they did it with a team costing no more than GBP22million. One of the teams they beat along the way were assembled for GBP 220million. I reference this because of two fundamental points. The first one was this, we (Leicester City) allowed nothing to change their central premise of “these are our values, and we will live our authentic self no matter what” this meant we bought cheaper hard-working players who fit into the ethos of the team. Secondly our chairman and owner, when he brought the club, borrowed a quote which Walt Disney coined and ensured every individual associated with the club bought into it. That quote was: -
“Our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”
The rest, as they say, is history. (But what fun that history was).
The moment we make up our minds to be courageous enough to pursue our dreams and start working to accomplish them, that is the moment our dreams start can come true. To pursue our dreams, we need to be so determined, focused and confident that nothing can stop us from achieving them. If you are true to yourself and have the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation you are on your way.
With this, it goes without saying that my “Tip of the Week” this week is “Be a little courageous.”
This week go ahead and say that thing you always wanted to say, do that what you have always thought about, go a little further than last time, be a little afraid but try anyway. Anything you can think of that you have been putting off.
To get started on your path, start small, practice being courageous. Start with these 5 questions.
We all have the courage to do, this week practice being courageous, you may surprise yourself. I know those who bet on Leicester to win the Premier League in 2015/16 were, especially at odds of 5000-1.
You just need to have a little courage and you will achieve far more than you could ever imagine.
Have a courageous week
My tip of the week this week is about assertiveness.
Some of this post must be accredited to someone who I read during my training and must get a mention. Pam Richardson's book "The Life Coach" was a great resource for me so I have used some of her thoughts to support my tip this week.
Assertiveness comes easy to some but to others it is a challenge. If you are in the latter category, this is your opportunity to make a little progress with;
5 simple ways to help you be more assertive.
Assertiveness is based on the belief that, whatever may have happened in the past that influenced your sense of self-worth, there comes a time when you can choose to believe that you are as important as anyone else.
You know I love a quote, so how about this one; -
“Be calm; yet assertive. Be meek; yet courageous. Be gentle; yet bold. Be kind; yet strong.”
― Charles F Glassman
The benefit of claiming your right to express your real feelings and opinions is that you live the life that you want to live, not the life that other people chose for you.
The cost of you denying yourself this right can be the release of a range of emotions from frustration or resentment, to anger that can all generate negative vibes.
You deal with the situations, but from more extreme positions of either passivity or aggression, these positions are both are manipulative.
The passive approach is self-effacing and apologetic: I am hopeless at this, you can do it so much better, this can be learned helplessness. Cultural influence can still produce a social expectation that women are meek and self-effacing while men are commanding and decisive. As a coach and a human being, I know this is not the case at all.
An aggressive approach may be “like it or not, just do it”. In an office environment where those who “make an impact” win promotion, a culture can develop where proving yourself right and others wrong is important. Making yourself look good at another person’s expense will score points. Remember this, if you admire someone because they dominate a meeting, while you find it difficult to put your point of view forward, you may both have more in common that you think – low self-esteem.
To help yourself become more assertive listen to the tone of your voice. Is it balanced and even, cajoling or domineering? Do you feel calm, confident, and open to the person that you are talking to? Another step towards becoming more assertive involves recognizing where tensions may lie in your body and how completely you use your breathe when you are communicating. If you are not using your breath well, your voice can sound flat and unconvincing. This is not helpful when you want to communicate effectively with others. Your voice and your posture are powerful allies when you want to develop good rapport with people and command their respect in any situation.
As a coach, I regularly come across both approaches and support my clients in moving toward improving their assertiveness.
So, my EDGE Coaching “tip of the week” for this week is “Try to be more assertive”
Here are 5 simple ways to help you be more assertive for you to practice this when the situation arrives.
Stand tall – ensure you have a strong posture.
Be fully present – be focused and ensure you feel centered.
Speak clearly with your mouth fully open – it reduces your chances of mumbling.
Fully control your breathing - it helps you stay relaxed.
Speak with fluidity - focus on getting your meaning across quickly and succintly.
With practice, even in front of the mirror, you will find it easier to stand your ground when it is the relevant time to do so.
Have a great week.
We are nearly into a new month and lots of people are preparing for the new quarter, term, or even performance management period. So today I thought I would share a tip you can practice with setting your goals, or the goals of your staff or team.
We have all heard of the SMART goal Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic and Timeframed. In fact, this is drilled into every leadership program on the market at the moment.
However, my coaching training ensured that I included two other mnemonics for goals, which have proved prudent to consider with all my clients.
After all, “A goal properly set is halfway reached.” Zig Ziglar
So, my tip of the week for this first week of June is.
“Make your goals PURE and CLEAR.”
Practice this by ensuring your goal setting includes these mnemonics.
Ensure your goal is POSITIVELY STATED- what you do want to achieve, not I do not want to be...
Ensure the goal is UNDERSTOOD- do not make it too complicated.
Make the goal RELEVANT to the big picture or required outcome, have it build on something.
Make it ETHICAL- there is a definite rise in ethical standards these days, and rightly so.
The second mnemonic is,
Always make your goal CHALLENGING, if there is no challenge, there is no motivation.
Make it LEGAL, this may sound preachy, but as with ethical, employees now have higher standards.
Make it ENVIRONMENTALLY SOUND, people are for more into causes for the betterment of the world, try to build on that.
Ensure the goal is APPROPRIATE, once again, have it build on past success, learning, a vision or mission.
Have the goal RECORDED, whether personal or work related, goals that are not written down, are simply just wishes.
I hope these words help you with setting and recording goals, if you need further help contact me using the contact page or email me direct.
This week I would like to share something simple that was sent to me, but first, when we think about "tips of the week" I often remember this lovely quote:
"The more time you have to do things, the less you get done"
so with this in mind, my "tip of the week" is " JUST DO IT"
Enjoy this verse.
JUST DO IT
"Don’t wait until you feel like it.
You may never feel like exercising.
You may never feel like studying.
You may never feel like spending quality time with your kids.
You may never feel like praying.
You probably just feel like lounging on the couch watching Netflix and playing with your phone, but is that really the best use of your time right now?
So don’t wait until you feel like doing what you know you should.
Just do it.
The feeling comes after you start."
This week I would like you to have a snack, but not the piece of chocolate in your draw or the oats and yogurt, you turn to. This snack is a mindfulness snack for when you feel a little under pressure. We as a people turn to all manner of things to relieve us of the stresses of work or family, however, it would do us all well to remember this little quote from an American Tibetan Buddhist Pema Chodron.
"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know"
So instead of fighting or ignoring, have a go at my "tip of the week" for this week
"Have a snack"
Print it, share it but above all, have a go at practicing it this week, you may find you learn more than you think.
Have a blessed week my friend.
This week my tip of the week is to support something that deep down we all at some point suffer from, “lack of confidence”.
Even the best of us, the most knowledgeable of us, and even the most skillful of us can lose confidence when faced with a new challenge.
When I work with clients, this is a word that is often a stumbling block that will need to be shifted.
Before I state this week’s tip, remember this.
"It is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures, new directions to grow in, and new lessons to learn — which is what life is all about."
— Oprah Winfrey,
The basis of my roadmap for helping my clients enhance their confidence is through targeted questions, but the general premise is as follows:
Confidence is linked to being able to quickly assess, learn from and move past failures, to leaning into mastery rather than perfectionism, and to fostering a positive self-perception of our capabilities even when challenged.
I ask them to create inspired actions, which keep in mind that confidence is strongly linked to doing. The best doing is being in action - then learning from the outcomes.
My tip for this week is “Whatever you put your attention on grows”,
This week, consider what you can focus your thinking on to boost your confidence. As a coach I might be looking at the following areas:
Practice, practice, practice, small steps will likely lead to bigger things, and it is these actions that build confidence.
Have a great week.
hope you had a restful weekend.Last week in Barbados, we celebrated Hero’s Day, Barbadians are recognized as National Heroes for their roles in positively changing Barbados. In their honour, April 28th is celebrated each year as National Heroes Day. It’s amazing to see the importance placed on our National heroes to the point where a bank holiday is apportioned.
Lately, there have been several other heroes amongst us, the emergency service, nurses, and other front-line services through the pandemic. To add to this and from a personal point of view, I think teachers across the world have also been heroes through the pandemic, they have continued teaching but in a completely different way. They have all been brave in the face of uncertainty.
Having said that, are they really the only heroes at the moment? It is always good to remember this lovely quote,
“I think a hero is any person really intent on making this a better place for all people.” – Maya Angelou
You see we are all heroes to someone, to our children as role models, our staff as mentors, and even our sports teams as we score in the final minutes.
But who am I to tell you who to be a hero to, that is something I can’t and won’t do, but I can share this.
My tip of the week, “Be a hero to someone this week”.
Whom can you be a hero to this week, in whatever guise you wish? Something a simple as an unexpected phone call to check up on someone you haven’t heard from in a while.
Be a hero to someone this week, if we all practiced this once a day each day, just think of how many people we could leave with a smile on their face.
As a coach, this is one of my biggest rewards at the end of a session.
Go be a hero
Have a great week
I hope you enjoyed last week’s tip of the week about “radiating your inner light” to be more positive in your day amidst the current climate.
When I spoke to my wife about it, she mentioned that her team has a weekly motivation email that goes out on a Monday and is written by a different team member each week.
I thought this such a great idea for developing a positive mindset and getting to know how the team thinks. Funnily enough, it was her turn to send one out and I thought I would share it with you today.
When working in a team it is important to remember this lovely quote
“Individual commitment to a group effort: That is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.” Vince Lombardi
So, my tip of the week this week is as follows. “Practice motivating others in your team.”
Send motivational messages to individuals and/or to the team.
Or as mentioned above, set a staff timetable to send out motivational quotes
Or share a tip of the week each Monday (you could just share my weekly tip if relevant, you can find previous tips under blogs on my website www.edgebarbados.com)
As promised here is the message my wife sent, it is perfectly topical, enjoy:
A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure……………
A timely quote for all of us……
We are all busy navigating our daily challenges with a little extra pressure from a big project we are currently working on along with those extra obstacles that have been thrown our way by mother nature, …… the volcano in St Vincent or the World Covid pandemic, but we face these challenges head-on and each day our diamond grows a little bigger and shines a little more brightly.
So, if you hit any ‘tough’ times during the week and you are feeling the pressure……just remember:
We are all diamonds shining brightly, we just sometimes must blow off the dust to remind ourselves!!
Have a great week everyone and over to you for the next motivational quote.
I hope you had a great weekend
Everyone is struggling with changes due to Coronavirus at the moment, this week, we here in Barbados, have had an added challenge of a thick layer of ash from the La Soufrière Volcano erupting in St Vincent and Grenadines. With this, there is a feeling of "what's next" after Coronavirus had been brought under control only for La Soufrière to erupt just as we are all allowed back out.
In the first instance, our prayers go out to all the families displaced or just impacted by La Soufrière. From there the next stage is to look after ourselves, we should all stay positive as these challenges are not set to last. But as we know it is not easy to do in the current world climate.
With this, it would be wise to remember this poignant quote from Martin Luther King Jr
"The ultimate measure of a man (or woman) is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands in times of challenge."
So with this in mind, it would be nice to spend this week sharing some radiance with yourself and others to brighten any diminishing moods.
My tip of the week is this “RADIATE THE LIGHT WITHIN YOU.”
Yes, times are tough but positivity is the key. Something like, When you have a compliment to share or you see something you love, just say it. Make someone feel good, and If you’re good at loving yourself, praise yourself for making good choices and giving back to others.
For some of us, doing this without inhibition will take people by surprise. However, the more that people see this trait in you, they will come to expect it and it becomes a part of your routine.
Practice this tip where you can this week, shining your light will brighten your day and that of those around you.
Have a great week.
I hope you had a lovely weekend.
It is a pleasure to bring you my “Tip of the Week” for this last week of April.
As promised, this is the last of the series of tips aimed at, but not exclusive to, educators. The topic is 10 things great leaders say to Highly Engaged Teams
This week’s topic is most definitely one that can be utilized across the board for leaders, teachers, parents, and those who are an essential part of a team.
Being part of a highly engaged team is a joy, a joy to be part of, to get up for, and to see operate. As Henry Ford said:
"Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success."
This week I hope to add to your repertoire, things you can say to your team that may assist in you receiving their continued support and engagement in your working environment.
My “Tip of the Week” Communicate for Continued High Engagement.
10 things great leaders say to Highly Engaged Teams
Practice those you can this week and watch as your team becomes even more engaged with what they are doing.
Have a great week.